I'm gonna start doing a contest every week, starting on Saturday and ending the following Friday at 3:00 pm EST. Enter the most hilarious, random, perfect, horrible, or stupid Facebook Status Update you can find and I will post a blog about it Friday evening.
Post it in a message on this page.
Last week's winner was my dazzling daughter-in-law, Danielle, with "Really, Dog the Bounty Hunter... button your effing shirt, for the sake of everyone."
Come on, people... start sharing the funny!
Best status of the month will win a prize that has yet to be determined. Check back often for updates.
"I didn't know Freddie Mercury was gay until after he died. The fact that he fronted a band called Queen was completely lost on me."
ReplyDeleteYou know who you are!
there is this dude that I went to HS with, whose status changes everyday, literally:
ReplyDelete"so and so changed their relationship status to single"
next day: "so and so is 'in a relationship'"
My friend and I text each other giggling, because it's fo reals!
Me, pointing at a taxidermied animal: that ibis is looking at me and judging. And I think it's wearing glasses.
ReplyDeleteTina: It is wearing glasses, but they're not big enough for his face, so it's only looking at you like that because it's trying to figure out if there are two or four of you.
Bwaaahaaahaaa!! Classic!
ReplyDelete"I'm looking around for a laundromat with high capacity machines so that I can wash a tond of blankets. I did find one nearby; it's called Little Big Load. To me, that seems more like some racially offensive midget porno. One that I would like to see."
ReplyDelete(Your submissions were looking a little sparse.)
Ok, reverse psychology: TODAY IS GOING TO BE A TOTAL CRAPWAGON OF A DAY.
ReplyDeleteInstead of counting sheep to try to go to sleep, I appear to be counting 'seep'. Some nearby water device, most likely a toilet water supply with a leaky system is turning on a valve for twelve seconds, then off for thirteen. If that goes away there are always the 737's of Southwest landing nearby. (I was desparately trying to sleep in a motel way too close to Love Field in Dallas)
ReplyDeleteThis status resulted after reading an overly dramatic Facebook fight from some of the high school girls in my area.
ReplyDelete--- "Hey Facebook, I have an idea! Next time you change your layout can we have something so we can drag and place our friends into groups? People with horrible grammar go here, people that air their filthy laundry go here, and people that can't argue without calling someone a "slut" or a "whore" go in this group. That way, I don't have to see all their crap on my Facebook, but if I'm having a really bad day I can go see who "wnt n saw da movie wit der friends" just to remind myself that "Even though I may have slammed my face in my dresser this morning due to the poorly constructed wooden chair in my room, at least I don't have bad grammar!"
It had been a long day.
I couldn't find an RSS feed button...can you advise? I wanted to follow you, but I'm at a loss as to how to go about it!
ReplyDeleteTWH was looking at his FB feed the other day. He says to me "Hey!! Do you remember so & so??" Me "Vaguely... Was he the guy I dubbed a techno-hippie because he was all about the gadgets AND the weed??" TWH "Yeah. Now HE'S a SHE!!"
ReplyDeleteI damn near broke an ankle sprinting into the bedroom where he was to see pictures of THAT shit!!
I'm going to fix a turkey today. Now I'm down to two. They should last me until November, when I go on my next turkey hoarding binge. You call it an illness, I call it being prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse.
ReplyDeleteThis food chain scandal is getting out of hand. Just been to a Meatloaf concert and even he was a little hoarse.....
ReplyDelete