Pages

Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

12 May 2011

Mirror, mirror, on the wall...

I am my mother, after all.  


If you tell me I am like my mother, there is a very good chance that I will get pissed, get defensive, demand factual clarification on what you are basing your information on, debate heatedly until I win, and then challenge you to a dual.  (Which I will also win.)  Nothing personal against my mother... it's just that I'M NOT LIKE HER.  


I'm not.


Seriously, I'm not.  


*foot stomp* 


I was in Price Chopper today picking up a few groceries and was comparing prices on butter.  The store brand butter was $2.39 a lb.  The Challenge butter (which I usually buy) was... are you ready for this?  $5.39 a lb.  


Why such a huge difference in price??  Seriously... three dollars more a pound for name brand butter (and it's not like it was laced with gold or truffle oil... just regular unsalted butter, mind you... the same butter I've been buying for years) than for the store brand.  There HAD to be a reason for this price difference.  HAD to be.


A typical person probably wouldn't think twice about it and would toss the value butter into their cart and go about their merry way...


but not me.


I grabbed the expensive butter because, let's be honest... at three dollars more a pound, it simply had to be BETTER.


It was at that very second that a giant lightbulb went on over my head and I realized...


Dear God, that is something my MOTHER WOULD DO.  


If you don't know my mother, let me paint a picture:  She is completely oblivious to fashion, style, modern trends, etc.  She goes absolutely everywhere in either jeans or capris, with a t-shirt, Uggs and God help us all, a fanny pack.  She doesn't dye her hair, wear make-up, shave her legs above the knee, or give a rat's ass what anyone thinks about these facts.  On the other hand, she BUYS these clothes at high-end stores and actually pays a shocking amount of money to achieve this look (right?  I know).  If she has the choice between Uggs on sale at TJ Maxx and the exact same Uggs for twice as much as Macys, she will, without hesitation, pay full price at Macys.  If they're more expensive at Nordstrom's, she'll buy them there, instead.  


Why?


BECAUSE IT MUST BE BETTER.


When she pulls up to Macy's in her Lexus and climbs out looking like a hobo, she honestly has NO idea that the impression she is giving (butch lesbian) is completely at odds with her spending habits (oooh... it's expensive and useless!  Must have!)  


She doesn't shop in discount stores, does not buy generic or store brand goods, won't even buy store brand plastic wrap or aluminum foil.  If it's cheaper, it's not as good.  End of story.  


This is the attitude I was raised with... and DAMN if it didn't stick.  


I have tried everything in my power to dig up my roots and become a person unique unto myself, and in no way, shape, or form am I like my mother (not that there's anything wrong with her... I'm just, you know, NOT LIKE HER).  And yet...


There I stood, in Price Chopper, throwing five dollar butter into my cart because the cheap butter couldn't possibly be as good.  


Other thoughts started dancing through my head...


I have never clipped a coupon.


I do not bargain shop.


I don't care if it's cheaper somewhere else and I have absolutely no money to spare... I'm buying what I always buy where I buy it.


Generic diet cola?   Yeah... I think not.  


I say things to Dan (whose mother is the queen of bargain shoppers) when he tosses store brand things into our cart like, "I'm sorry, did you think you were shopping with your mother?  It's not a bargain if it sucks."  


Why didn't I realize this before?  WHY?


If I start wearing a fanny pack, SHOOT ME.