Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

23 May 2011

No booze for you!

Dear New York,  

I take issue... EXTREME ISSUE... with the fact that you don't see fit to sell wine or liquor in your grocery stores.  Apparently BEER is okay, but wine and liquor?  No.

Please, PLEASE explain to me why hops and barley = no problem but grapes and potatoes?  Absolutely not.  

Brewing is A-OK but fermentation and distillery?  Can't mix that with our groceries, yo!

I could ALMOST understand selling wine and beer in the grocery store and all other liquors at a liquor store... ALMOST (because that's how Oregon does it, not that I'd ever live there) but I'm having a hard time figuring out why wine is a grocery store no-no.  

People cook with wine, no?  

Which, by the way, is how I figured out that wine is only sold in liquor stores.  (Okay, I didn't figure it out so much as I was informed, but still.)  

I was wandering around Price Chopper, going up and down the beer aisle, the soda aisle, the imported foods aisle, trying to find a bottle of wine with which to marinate beef.  Up and down, up and down... Okay, here's the beer so wine can't be far behind... Nope, nope... still beer... 

Since I'm not a man, I have no problem asking for directions.  I approached the checkout counter and politely inquired, "Excuse me, can you tell me where the wine aisle is?"

Checker looked at me blankly for a minute and then said, "In the liquor store."

I hate to admit the part where I looked around the store for a sign that said "Liquor Store", but there ya have it.

I've been bitching a LOT about this to Dan.  Truthfully, I'm not much of a drinker and rarely have a glass of wine or make myself a cocktail, but I have to admit that KNOWING that if I want one, I have to drive 10 miles to the damn liquor store, makes me want one every single night.  

If I had all the cocktails I talk about on a daily basis, I'd be quite the lush.

I'm starting to obsess about why I can't just go to the store and buy a bottle of wine or X Rated (favorite drink ever!  Pink and fruity and mixed with club soda, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm).  

Then Dan told me that you can't buy liquor before noon on Sundays, either.   Even though I've yet to feel the need to buy liquor before noon on a Sunday, it sent me over the edge.

Me:  Says WHO?

Dan:  The state of New York.

Me:  Who the hell is the state of New York to tell me when I can and cannot buy booze?

Dan:  Ummmm... it's been a law as long as I can remember, Dani.

Me:  Well, it hasn't been MY law.  MY law says I can buy booze any damn time I want because I'm a grown ass woman and if I want to get hammered at 9:30 on a Sunday morning, I will do it.

Dan:  Then you'll have to buy your booze Saturday night.

Me:  That's bullshit.

Dan:  Oh well.

Me:  Seriously, that's BULLSHIT.  

Dan:  *with wayyyy more amusement than I generally appreciate*  Why are you getting so pissed about it?

Me:  *stew, fume, huff, puff, rant*  BECAUSE IF I WANT TO BUY BOOZE AT 11:50 FREAKING 9 A.M. ON A SUNDAY, WHO ARE THEY TO TELL ME I CAN'T?



Dan:  Are you done?

Me:  I don't think so.  I'm pretty sure I'll feel the need to comment on this fact for a long, long time.

Dan:  *doing his Dudley Do-Right impression*  Oh, goody...

Anyway, I spent the majority of the hour Dan and I spent in the car last night driving home from his parent's house trying to get him to acknowledge that it was a stupid rule.  You can get just as drunk and be just as much of a boozer with beer as you can with wine or anything else.  (I don't drink beer, but I guarantee most of the beer drinkers that I know drink WAYYYYYYYYYYY more beer than I drink of anything else, NEW YORK.)  

He eventually agreed with  me (I think he only spent as much time disagreeing because of state pride and he didn't feel like admitting that California had one up on New York) but it was a hollow victory, as I still can't buy wine or booze at the grocery store and the liquor store is still ten miles away.  

One down, the entire population of New York State to go.  

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