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Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

15 May 2011

True Confessions of Little Miss Morbid

I may or may not have a slight (cough) fascination with things that others might consider "morbid".  Slight, as in 90% of my tv viewing takes place on Discovery ID and have the words "murder" and "gruesome" somewhere in the description and 75% of the books in my own personal library are written by Ann Rule and Kathryn Casey and have a title followed by a subtitle, as in You Said You Loved Me:  A true story of love, betrayal, and murder in the heartland (just made that up... not actually a book.  Probably.)  


(I totally pulled those statistics out of my ass, but I'll bet they're pretty accurate, all the same.)


The current "waiting to read" list on my Kindle consists of:


1.  Too Late to Say Good-bye (Ann Rule)
2.  Shattered:  The True Story of a Mother's Love, a Husband's Betrayal, and a Cold-Blooded Texas Murder (Kathryn Casey)
3.  Savage Son (Corey Mitchell)
4.  No, Daddy, Don't!:  A Father's Murderous Rage, a Mother's Worse Nightmare (Irene Pence)
5.  Kill For Me (M. William Phelps)
6.  In The Still of the Night (Ann Rule)
7.  But I Trusted You (Ann Rule)
8.  Not Tonight, Honey, Wait Til I'm a Size 6 (Susan Reinhardt... My other reading interest is the modern memoir)


The two lists on my Kindle are titled Murder and Mayhem (True Crime) and Blood and Other Fluff (fiction mysteries).  


Dani walks the on dark side, yo.


Toss in my obsession with wandering through graveyards and I truly AM a ray of sunshine.  (Just because violent thunder, lightning and rain storms make me feel warm and fuzzy doesn't mean I'm not bright and cheerful... right?)


I don't want to see dead bodies or turn into a vampire, but there's something about forensics, graveyards and serial murderers that sucks me in.  (Bwaaaa... pun totally unintended.  It just happened.)


Dan and I have taken several drives along the abandoned roads of northern New York and I keep my eyes peeled for old, dusty, broken down and crumbling graveyards while he looks for historical buildings and noteworthy monuments.  He'll be all, "Dani... look at that stone house with the date 1782 on it!" and I'll be all, "Mmmmhmm, cool... LOOOOK!!!  GRAVEYARD!!!  OVER THERE!  FALLING STONES!  GO BACK!  GO BACK!!"


Then I make him turn around, pull in, and stop so I can meander through the graves while he sits in the car and ponders on whether or not I'm crazy or just plain weird.  Bonus points if it's raining or misty while I'm checking out the headstones.  I can't wait for fall and winter so I can spend blissful afternoons in dark and dreary cemeteries, reading epitaphs, checking out dates and ages and names of the deceased.  New graves do not attract me... I want them old and preferably falling apart.  (Expect photos.)  


If I could get someone to spend the night in an old abandoned graveyard with me, I would totally do it.  Cocktails, S'mores, and my digital camera... Seriously, it's number 4 on my Bucket List.  (1.  Go to Ireland and England, 2.  Go to Salem, Mass and remember and mourn all the victims of the witch hunts, 3.  Have a grandchild *ahemKaceyandDanielleahem* and 4.  Spend the night in an abandoned graveyard.  See, I'm not THAT weird.)


We spend a lot of time watching television in two separate rooms because a) he finds my choice of viewing pleasure depressing and b) he finds it worrisome that I watch Snapped! so gleefully and diligently.  (Okay, not gleefully... that's totally HIS perception because it makes him so nervous.)


A typical discussion about what we're going to watch goes something like this:


Dan:  Anything on?


Me:  I dunno... let's see.


Dan:  *grabbing remote before I can get it and spending half an hour channel surfing*


Me:  Wait... stop... wait... WAIT!  Oooh!  Look!  Something about Lizzie Borden... go back!  Oh!  Look!  Something about doing an autopsy on King Henry the VIII!  Wait!  WAIT!  Snapped!  Forensic Files!  Hey!  Give me the remote!


Dan:  *pausing only on reality shows involving lumber, swamps, crab, sports, and jackasses doing really stupid shit*  What do you have recorded?


Me:  I dunno... check.


Dan:  True Crime with Aphrodite Jones... On the Case with Paula Zahn... Bones... Bones... Criminal Minds... Dateline on ID... Twisted... Absolutely Fabulous... GOD I hate that show, I can't understand what they're saying, why do you think it's funny?  Pretty Hurts... ugh, how can you watch them give people injections IN THEIR FACES?  You're sick... Main Street Mysteries... Main Street Mysteries... 


Me:  


Dan:  *long pause*


Dan:  I think the Mets are playing.  I'll go watch tv in the bedroom.


Me:  How come you never want to watch tv with me?


Dan:  You scare me.


Me:  Why, because I take notes?  (Not really... but I like to say that just to keep him on his toes.)


Murder, mayhem and make-up... Typical interests of a central Cali Valley girl, no?


Just me, then?