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Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

08 June 2011

Gotta DANCE!

I forget sometimes that I'm not invisible.  


There is usually so much going on in my head that if I'm multi-tasking (which I generally am) I don't tend to think about silly, unimportant things, like (for example) that other people can SEE ME.


When I'm cruising through the Dani Zone (The Dani Zone is a fabulous little world that unfortunately exists only in my mind.  In The Dani Zone, I am 6' tall, 18 years old, stunningly beautiful, and wildly gifted.  I can sing like Aretha, dance like Shakira and move mountains with my grace and cat-like agility.  I never fall down in The Dani Zone) I've got sixteen conversations going on in my head and background music that makes me want to dance and sing... like Liza, Beyonce, Celine and Mariah, all rolled into one.


My side-trips into the Dani Zone can be triggered by music on the tv or radio, a ringtone on a cellphone, or a song that pops into my head.  I promptly forget that I am fat and over 40 and can't carry a tune in a bucket; I will still burst into song and start to dance.  I twirl, I shake my money maker, I hold spoons and hair brushes up to my lips as a make-shift microphone and give the dogs an impromptu free concert that I'm POSITIVE makes them shake their little heads in wonder... "Wow, Mommy is so beautiful and such an awesome dancer.  I love it when she sing, it's just like Celine."  


I just can't seem to stop myself.  (I've got the music in me... there's just a slight break-down in communication when it's coming OUT of me.)


(I have managed to share this little defect with my boys.  I love it when they're home and we all burst into song for no apparent reason and sing loudly and badly together.  We dance, we harmonize, we ad lib... Dogs, elk and water buffalo perk their ears for miles around harken to our siren song.  My boys are probably the only young men in the 21-25 age bracket who know all of the songs in the Practical Magic soundtrack and can sing them with their mother.  I'm so proud of them!!!!!!)


So this morning when my cell rang and treated my ears to "Sweet Child O' Mine" it's no surprise that Axl Rose suddenly and without warning appeared in my head.  I was wandering around the house belting out, "Oooooohhhh ohhhh ohhhhh sweet child o miiiiiiine.." and paused to do a little pelvic thrust action when something caught my eye.


Uh oh.


I was in the bedroom, in front of the window, with the blinds up and the window open...



And there was our new neighbor, Trailer Trash Barbie, standing DIRECTLY BENEATH ME smoking a cigarette while her dog peed in the planter alongside our apartment.



Well, SHIT.


I mean, I KNOW that even though I sound beyond fabulous in my HEAD, outSIDE of my head a slightly different story is happening.  I know I'm not incredibly graceful, I'm not an amazing dancer, I can't sing like Celine or even Axl Rose.  


If she had started singing along WITH me, we would totally be BFF right now.


Instead, she hurried her doggy out of the planter and beat feet getting out from under my window.


I'm pretty sure this means I can never leave my house again.