Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

05 June 2011

Reason #564738129485 Why I'm Gonna Burn In Hell

I absolutely cannot sit through the celebrity narrated UNICEF commercials without getting SERIOUSLY irritated.

It has nothing to do with the heartbreaking footage of sick and starving children in impoverished countries.  Truthfully, if I could feed and love each one of them into health and happiness, I absolutely would.  

It has EVERYTHING to do with how each and every celeb they choose looks sadly into the camera, with tears filling their eyes, and tell me, in a voice choked with overwhelming emotion, that my "pennies a day could change the life of a child."  

My "pennies a day" DID change the life of a child.  Three children, to be exact.  Their names were Shea, Kacey and Brennan.  So why wasn't Alyssa Milano sobbing in MY livingroom when the boys and I ate rice three times a day and I created amazing concoctions with cheap boxes of Jiffy Biscuit mix because it was on sale at the Grocery Outlet (which my kids cheerfully called "The Poor People Store") for $1 a box?   Times were tough and no one stopped drinking coffee so MY kids could eat...  

But I digress.

I wish I could pin-point exactly why these commercials annoy me so much.  I mean, the St. Jude commercials bring me to tears.  God help us all when the Humane Society of the United States plays "In the Arms of the Angel" and shows picture after picture of abandoned and abused cats and dogs... I can barely hold in the sobs.    When the Christian Children's Fund shows the beautiful, dark-eyed children looking trustingly at the camera, I want to reach out and yank those babies through the tv and into my home and make everything in their lives wonderful.  Ben Afleck makes me want to race to the Arctic and club a seal killer to DEATH and save every polar bear on the planet.  


Pisses me off.

It has nothing to do with the organization itself.  I have nothing against UNICEF, and if you show up at my door on Halloween and tell me you are trick-or-treating for them, I will stuff a fiver into your pillow case without batting an eye.

But if you make me sit through the commercial, I might hurt you.  

I think it's the guilt-infused method of asking for money that gets to me.  The "In Your Face, You're A Fat American, Now Pay Up Or Alyssa Milano Will Cry" message that comes through the tears just doesn't move me AT ALL.  It just makes me want to move to another room until it's over, ya know?

So this is my Ugly Truth for the day.  

P.S.  Whatever happened to Sally Struthers?  She was another one who's trembling and quivering voice while she did the UCCF sponsorship ads made me want to eat a candy bar and send her the wrapper.   

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