Would you like fries with that?

Me, yesterday, at the McDonald's drive-thru:  "I'd like a large iced coffee, with non-fat milk and Splenda, please?"


Drive-thru Drone:  "Will that be all for you today?"


Me:  "Yes, please."


Drive-thru Drone:  "Would you like fries with that?"


*blink*


*blink*


Okay, I get that McDonald's is all about the up-sell.  I actually used to work at one, about 100 years ago when it was basically cheeseburgers, Big Macs, fries and apple pies.  On the days that the owner would stop by and hover over us at the register, we would practically trip all over ourselves up-selling apple pies and french fries to all who appeared before us.  "Would you like fries with that?" came as naturally as breathing.  God help us ALL when a customer ordered a burger, fries, Coke and pie... there was nothing left to offer.  "Ummm... could I get you a Filet o' Fish?"  


Because if we DIDN'T try to up-sell?  We got put on lot duty, which basically meant picking up cigarettes and trash from the play area.  (Remember when people smoked in public places?  That was fun, right?)  


Pretty Girls ALWAYS got put on the front register or in drive-thru, so when we were sent out to pick up trash?  We were kicking ourselves for NOT offering the damn Filet o' Fish, because we recognize a slap on the hand when you give us the long handled dust pan and broom, yo.


Anyhoo.


So I GET why the Drone was doing the up-sell.  But come on... FRIES with a non-fat iced latte with SPLENDA?  Why not just say, "How about I make that a full fat mocha with gobs of whipped cream and toss in a coupla pounds of greasy meat for ya, hmmm?"  


Word up for the Drones:  When chubby girls go with the non-fat option, you DON'T offer fries.  


What we really want?  Is PIE.  


You should have offered me the pie.