I did finally get to the grocery store yesterday, and as I walked in to The Price Chopper, to what did my wondering eye should appear but a giant Halloween display featuring PEANUT BUTTER SNICKERS. Of course, I felt that it was a sign from God, so I snatched up a huge bag of the little suckers and tossed them into my Cart of Doom.
$106 later I had all the fixin's for the Lasagna Feast Of Fury.
This did not improve my mood.
Which, naturally, meant I came home and procrastinated some more.
I kept waiting for the lasagna to just cook itself already, for the apples to peal themselves and hop into the dish, singing, for a pie crust to magically appear before me, carried by bluebirds and laid lovingly on top of the apples...
That only happens in Disney films, apparently.
Dear Walt Disney,
Due to the fact that I was brainwashed by your fluffy films of hard-luck princesses who all manage to live happily ever after and receive constant help, advice and attention from woodland creatures, I have been left with an unrealistic expectation of entitlement. Where the hell are the goddamn helpful mice and squirrels when I need a lasagna and a freaking pie put together?
You owe me, Walt.
I finally got moving at around 7:30 last night. I made the pie, I made the lasagna sauce, and then determined I could finish everything else in the morning.
It's now 11:30 and so far this morning I've:
Dan called (he has been at his parent's house since last night) and treated me to the following conversation:
Dan: "So when will you be coming down?"
Me: "I dunno. I still have to put the lasagna together and shower."
Dan: "Now what else are you bringing, again?"
(GAHHHHH! We've only been over this 5473957639 times. The man is 38. WTF is he going to be like when he's 50??!!!!! "Hey, Dani... you're my what, again?")
Me: *ohhhhhhh so patiently* "Lasagna. Pie. For which I pealed 50 bazillion apples, no lie. Garlic bread. Salad."
Dan: "Do you think that'll be enough?"
Me: "Ya know? It's just going to have to be. Because that? Is all there is going to be. So help me if I show up and your mother is cooking I am going to stab someone."
Dan: *wait for it.... wait for it... you know it's coming...* "I hope they like it."