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Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

08 November 2011

Fatty Con Queso



I hate it when I'm hungry but nothing sounds good.  I generally have a bevy of healthy options open to me but rather than grab an apple, I usually decide that it's easier and makes more sense to either a) slice off a piece of cheese and eat that or b) pop some popcorn.

I have a serious popcorn issue.  I will eat it for any meal, if no one else is around or I don't feel like cooking (which generally happens if no one else is around).  If Dan wants me to cook him something that I don't like, I'll make him his meal (usually steak... I don't eat steak) and I'll eat popcorn.

Hungry in the morning but don't feel like unwrapping a breakfast bar?  Popcorn!

Need a quick snack and grabbing some baby carrots out of the fridge is just too time-consuming?

Popcorn!

Home alone and nuking a Lean Cuisine just too labor-intensive?  

Popcorn!

Need some protein with all those salty carbs?

Cheese!!!  

You know what goes good with cheese?

POPCORN!!

I'm pretty sure that I single-handedly have been keeping Orville Redenbacher in business for the past 5 years.  

Dear Orville's Nerdy Horn-Rimmed Glasses and Bow-Tie Wearing Kinfolk,

You're welcome for the yachts, mansions, and European vacations.

Love,

Dani

P.S.

You're welcome for all the damn suspenders, too.  Dude... buy a belt.  Seriously.

Maybe take some of that popcorn money and get a personal buyer and a suit, yes?

Meanwhile, Dan left me home alone all weekend.  Which isn't a bad thing... I kind like being left to my own devices.  However, what I like and what's best for me aren't necessarily the same thing. This was my menu for the weekend:

Saturday morning:  Coffee and a handful of Good n Plentys (shut up... they're good and they go amazingly well with coffee)

Saturday lunch:  Popcorn and Diet Pepsi

Afternoon snack:  Cheese

Dinner:  Nothing... I was still full from the cheese.

Bedtime snack:  Popcorn... because it had been like 12 hours since I'd eaten it and I was having withdrawals.

Don't bother me... I'm eating.

Sunday morning:  Coffee.

Sunday brunch:  Popcorn.

Sunday lunch:  Cheese and an apple. 

Sunday afternoon:  Diet Pepsi and pie.  (Don't judge me.)

Sunday dinner:  Greasy, disgusting chicken strips that Dan brought home.  Yuck.

Sunday before bed:  Popcorn and Ambien.  (I needed something to soak up the grease from the chicken strips.)

Sunday after Ambien:  A bowl with peanut butter and jelly in it.  (As discovered after reading text messages sent while sleeping.)

There is a slight possibility that I scooped up the PB&J with pieces of cheese, but I refuse to go there.