And that is how my day ended.
We drove the hour it takes to get to Dan's parent's house to spend the day helping out in the yard (SOOOOoooooo not my thing. I WAY prefer houseplants, thank you... pulling weeds plays hell with my manicure). I was a super good sport about it because I was promised coffee and donuts on the way and Olive Garden for dinner before we came home.
Woooo hoooo, I thought to myself.
I was as excited as the dogs about getting to go for a ride, after being stuck in this apartment for two bloody weeks. I hung my head out of the window, violated the Amish with my camera, giggled and carried on at length about all the novelties of the north country landscape, and then....
We arrived at Dan's parent's house, where Dan had apparently led them to believe we were staying for dinner. Mom had a ham cooking and was preparing a big family spread. My dreams of Olive Garden plummeted and died as the smell of cured pork permeated the atmosphere.
Overall, it was a gorgeous day. The weather could not have been more perfect, I lost three nails pulling weeds (I am a trooper, I am), went on a nice walk with the dogs and the girls, spent some time being their favorite aunt, and eventually sat down to an enormous ham dinner, which I politely ate.
At the head of the table sat K Dubya, Dan's dad. He doesn't really have the pleasure of spoiling his grandchildren, since they live with him, so he spoils the crap out of our dogs. Maisy and Javi wound up with more ham than we did, and after dinner, he LET THEM DRINK ALL THE GRAVY.
I saw disaster in my very near future as Javi stood in the dish and licked it clean and Maisy slinked around with her tail between her legs looking sick and miserable after more than eating her share.
We left for home and Maisy immediately passed out on my lap. 18 lbs of dead pug weight crushing my arm as we cruised through the hills and vales and then....
Regurgitated ham and gravy all over me, my purse, the groceries I had picked up on the way home, the seat of the truck, Javi....
Good times, y'all. Good times. I'm pretty sure ham is ruined for me forever..