I was not a perfect parent, by any stretch of the imagination. If I could go back and do it over, not only would I, (mostly because my kids were so damn cute and I had so much fun with them), but I would also take a list back with me of everything I needed to do differently.
The things I wouldn't change would be the times I said yes, the times I gave them pumpkin ice cream for breakfast, the times we frosted cupcakes and turned off the lights and lit candles and played music really loud and danced like crazy people, because it was pouring down rain on Halloween and dammit, we needed to party, the Christmases I gave in at 4 a.m. and let them get up and open their stockings, the times I spent our last $20 on pizza because we needed a treat...
Mostly I would change the times that I said no, the times that I got angry because I was tired and frustrated and a single parent and took it out on them, the times that I wished I could just have a minute of peace, the days when I made them play outside because I couldn't take one more minute of their noise...
If I could take all those days back and change them to happy memories of time I spent with them, I would do it in a heart beat.
I'm glad I brought them home a treat every time I went to the store.
I'm glad I put new Ninja Turtles on their beds to surprise them when they came home from school one day, just because.
I'm glad I let them stay home sometimes because we'd had a bad day the day before and we needed to cuddle up and watch movies together and be calm and happy.
I'm glad I gave in and said "yes" when I probably should have said "no."
I'm glad I was able to teach them to appreciate the little things because we didn't have that many big things to give.
I wish I could have given them more big things.
I wish I could have spoiled and entitled them more.
Shea, Kacey, Brennan... I love you.