Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

19 September 2011

When Facebook Attacks...

I'm a little butthurt. I admit it. Facebook hurt my feelings and I'm not sure I'm going to get over it any time soon.

Their side of the story:

Apparently, I sent out a Friend Request to someone who doesn't know me. Rather than scratch their heads and think to themselves, "Hmmmm... maybe I just don't recognize her last name because, you know, she's had several, and she is, like, 30 years older than she was in high school... maybe she looks a little different?" they ratted me out to Facebook. Facebook took it upon themselves to send me a slap on the wrist and ground me from my Friend Requesting Privileges for 7 Days.

Dear Danielle,

We were informed that you have sent out a Friend Request to someone who doesn't know you. You must be punished. You may ONLY send out Friend Requests to people who recognize your name, have met you in person, and had lunch with you at least twice in the past 6 months. Otherwise, we will remove all Friend Requesting privileges and you will die alone.


The Facebooking Team


You have 7 days to straighten your ass up.

Hopefully, in that time frame, I will learn my lesson. Otherwise life as we know it will cease to exist.

My side of the story: I only send out Friend Requests to people I think I know. I don't randomly request strangers, generally I request people whose blogs I read and have a little tab that says "Follow Me On Facebook!" (hey... don't invite me if you don't want me to come to your party, you jerk) or people I remember from high school. That's about it. If you don't remember me from high school, that's fine. I don't remember a lot of you, either. But when I see we went to the same high school and you graduated the same year I did, I give you the benefit of the doubt and accept your Friend Request because, you know, I'm not an asshole.

What kind of tattle-tale tells FACEBOOK on you? "Ummm, Facebook? This girl, Danielle Something Something Lots of Last Names? Sent me a Friend Request. Now my pee-pee hurts."

I can't believe I'm being grounded by Facebook.

Oh, the HUMANITY!!!


  1. If I don't recognize them, I friend them into a lockdown status and then stalk their profile to my heart's content. And then if I *still* don't recognize them AND have no interest in getting to know them, I unfriendly them. No harm no foul.

  2. Waaaa? There are Facebook police? Holy crap...

    I don't even know where the damn friend button IS on facebook, much less how to tattle-tale.

  3. I have no idea how one would go about tattling on FB... or why one would even try, if the only reason was a friggin' Friend Request. Don't accent, duh. It's not like I'm stalking someone. (Well, that they know about. I don't friend request the people I'm stalking. I'm way too tricky.)

    Yeah, it was like a trip back to 3rd grade. Awesomeness on a stick.

  4. Fucking auto correct... seriously, it drives me nuts. Pardon the typos!!!


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