Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

13 October 2011


*Author's note:  I've been having a hissy-fit since last night.  I'm about to bring it to my blog.  Consider yourselves warned.  Also?  Feel free to agree with me.  

This was my Facebook status update last night:

Stupid argument with the husband and the in-laws... The way people pronounce towns around here drives me straight up a freaking WALL. There is a town nearby called Madrid. Now, you and I would pronounce it Muh-DRID, like the city in Spain, yes? Well, apparently? We would be WRONG, because everyone around HERE, including the people who LIVE THERE, pronounce it MAD-rid. Just like that... accent on the first syllable: MAD-rid. Like the word mad. Then the word rid. This? Right here? Is annoying the shit out of me right this second.

I can't even beGIN to explain how freaking irritating this is to me.  Granted, it's petty and silly and pointless to get so bent over the way people have been pronouncing certain words for most likely hundreds of years, but I can't wrap my brain around the fact that they're still doing it.  

I can make allowances for the early settlers... Perhaps they were uneducated and had only a tentative grasp on geography and languages other than their own.  After all, they didn't have the internet and Google at their disposal and had to go on their own personal interpretations.  But doesn't it stand to reason that if there are surrounding areas named Antwerp, Rome, Mexico, Amsterdam, Venice, etc. that they would eventually figure out how to pronounce MADRID?  

(Obviously, when it came to naming cities, the early New Yorkians were somewhat lacking in imagination.  "Sooooo... I just came from York so let's call this... NEW York!!  Yeah!  Give me some skin, brotha!  High 5!  Down low!  Ohhhh... too slow!!  Hey... Remember Antwerp?  Let's call this place Antwerp.  I heard Cortez was in Mexico... let's called this place Mexico!  Then we don't have to come up with anything new!!"  And when they ran out of European and southwestern cities and countries, they just stuck the word "Falls" after the name of every town that had water running downhill, and "Ville" after everything else.  Because you can't go wrong with "Ville.")  

Moving right along, my previous rant about the pronunciation of a local hamlet was:


Let's discuss.

Now me, being me, sees a town called Theresa and I think, "We're in Theresa..." which would, of course, be pronounced just like the name Theresa.  Right?  Of COURSE right.

Only I'm wrong.

Because it's not Theresa... it's THERESA.

Confused?  Me too.

Rather than saying "Theresa" with a hard "T"... "Teresa"... they pronounced it with a soft "TH" as in "thumb."


Because they're all fucking Hooked On Phonics or something.


No.  It's WRONG.  It's so very, very, very WRONG.  And they won't listen to me.

These conversations usually begin with Dan saying something like "We're going through MAD-rid" at which point I correct him, because let's face it, I HAVE TO.  Then he tells me I'm saying it wrong , that's not how anyone says it, blah blah blah...  Then I say something like, "So if everyone called you "Din" instead of "Dan" would you just start calling yourself "Din", because that's what everyone else was saying even though you knew they were wrong?" and he rolls his eyes and sticks to his guns and we argue non-stop until I scream, "YOU'RE ALL MORONS!  I'VE MOVED TO MORONVILLE IN THE STATE OF NEW MORON!!"

Then the argument is effectively over because we're no longer speaking.

Why does this bother me so much?

I don't know.

(Oh my GOD... I just realized I'm channeling Kate Gosselin.  "Do I feel this way?  Yes I do.  Am I a screaming bitch?  Yes I am.  Was my reverse mullet a poor hair choice?  Absolutely." GAHHHH!  I apologize for that brief lapse.)

I had every intention of making New York my bitch, but it seems that instead, New York is turning me IN to one.  

New York:  1

Dani:  0


  1. I am feeling free to agree with you, homegirl, because people do that all the time in Louisiana, too, but also with people's names.

    My little sister is named Sierra and when we moved there, everyone decided it would be pronounced Sara. And then everyone in her school just went along with it.

    Girl to Heidi

  2. Sweet christ on a biscuit, that irritates the pure, unadulterated FUCK out of me!

    I moved to Wisconsin last year, an area settled to some extent by French fur traders. So it would stand to reason that we have a few cities in these parts with vaguely French names, like Prairie du Chien. Now, that's French for dog, pronounced shee-yeh (short n). So clearly, the locals call it Prairie du Sheeeeeen just to PISS ME OFF!

    I throw things at the TV every night when they give the weather report out there.

  3. Seriously??? With that logic, my name would now be Darlene, because no one... NO ONE... when I was a kid was named Danielle, except ME. So no one could pronounce it. I was Darlene, Danette. Deanna, Diana, Darnell (THE. WORST.), Doorknob, you name it.

    I didn't cave. My name is Danielle. Learn it. Say it. There will be no Darlene's here.

    And that's how I feel about Madrid and Theresa. Thank you for agreeing with me, Heidi!!! //madlove

  4. Mandi... I can't handle the local commercials or news. I just can't. One evening, on the local weather, the girl said... and I quote... "This warm front is sure being STUB-rin."

    *brain hemorrhage*

  5. Names are sacred ... and as such ... should be pronounced and spelled correctly [as the giver of the name intended]. English [can be] a 'regional experience' ... perhaps it should be thought of as a 'lesson' in the 'local culture!' Point of Information: It's okay to 'talk-back' to the television.

  6. Oh, yes, this crap annoys me too. My mother lives in Florida, and they pronounce all kinds of things wrong.

    And even though the pronunciation guy has a snooty British accent, it should help your case next time one of the Noo Yawkas tell you you're wrong:

  7. Vesta, I love you SO DAMN MUCH right now.

  8. We have a major street in P-Town called "Couch Street". I can hear you reading that word in my head. . .you are all pronouncing it like a sofa, right? No, no, my dears. It is pronounced "kootch". THE STREET IS NAMED AFTER SOMEONE'S VA-JAY-JAY! That shit ain't right. . .

  9. I would be calling those places by a brand new name, myself, just to entertain myself. Like MAY-dread and Thur-assa. And why the hell would someone name a street after a va-jay-jay? That's just tacky! (I'd rename that one Ho Street, but that's just me)

  10. Jen... KOOTCH STREET??? HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Please tell me it's right next to Douche Lane... OMG that's freaking awesome!!!

  11. Jo... That's the best idea, seriously!!! I'm going to start inventing names. Love it!!

  12. It's not just Northern NY. There is a town in NJ called Bogota. Now I pronounced it BOgataw - like the country. Well I was WRONG. It's pronounced BO-GOTTA. Only in Jersey.


I'm a total comment whore... Leave me a message after the beep. *pause* *pause* *pause* BEEP!