In Which Geese Make Me Look Stupid...

I'm growing very suspicious of the local geese.  I've seen them congregating in large groups, flying in formation as if they're preparing for something, and recently, on two separate but very close together occasions, I was the victim of Looking Moronic Via Water Fowl.  Since I never look like an idiot on purpose, I'm pretty sure it was the geese.  They planned it, they carried it out, and now they're all pumped up with the success of their mission.

And I'm positive there's more to come. 

 

Geese?  Are assholes.

These two events could not possibly have been coincidental.

First, this happened:

Driving along with Dan the other day, we passed a flock of white birds along the side of the highway.

Me:  "Oh cool, seagulls.  I miss them!"

Dan:  *looking at me in disbelief for a moment*  "Ummm, Dani?  Those were geese."

Me:  "Seagulls, geese, whatever... white water fowl."

Dan:  "Yeah... they're almost the same..."

Me:  "Right?"

(See?  CLEARLY not my fault.  The geese were milling about, looking like seagulls, just to make ME look like a dumbass.  They're such fuckers, the geese.)

Then, the other night, in our living room:

Dan:  "Do you hear that?  The geese are migrating."

Me:  "Yeah... gobble gobble gobble gobble!  Ha ha they're loud!"

Dan:  *actually, for once, stunned into silence*

Me:  *happily pondering the flight of the gobbling geese*

Dan:  "Dani?  Really?"

Me:  "Huh?"

Yeah.  Those bastards did it on purpose.  They were gobbling as they flew over my house.  They were all, "GOBBLE GOBBLE!  GOBBLE GOBBLE!  Bwaaaaa!!!  Did she say anything?  Does she think the domesticated turkeys are migrating south for the winter?"

I'm not going to forget about this.

It's allllll fun and games until someone winds up with an ass full of buckshot.

Fucking geese.

Let this be a warning to you all: