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Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

16 November 2011

Pommy Poop Parade


This is my little Pomeranian, Javi.  (That would be HAAA-veee, not JAAA-vee or JAY-VEE or any other atrocious mangling of his name.  His real name is Javibear, which is our really obnoxiously cute variation of Javier, because he looks like a little black bear and we are that kind of embarrassing.)  


Say my  name, bitch...



It all started innocently enough this morning:  I took a shower, got dressed, shut the bedroom door and went about my business.  Maisy (my pug) was, per usual, in her spot under the fleece blanket on the couch.  I assssssuuuuuuumed that Javi was under the couch, which is kind of his "thing" these days.  (We aren't really sure why.)

What...?

As it turns out, I couldn't have been more wrong.  Javi had been...

*cue slasher music*

LOCKED IN THE BEDROOM.






 Javi was not happy.  In fact, one might say that Javi was pissed.

WTF???
He had also expressed his extreme displeasure in the following ways:

He left teeny little turds in a trail leading from the bed to the door. 

I have never seen that much poop come out of one tiny little 4 lb dog.  He has squeezed out every single bit of excrement that had been lingering in his wee little colon, in a perfect line, spaced about a foot apart.  

At the end of the parade was an itty bitty spot of pee, about the size of a quarter.

When I opened the door, he gave me a sideways glance that clearly said, "Watch your back, bitch."  Usually, he is the sweetest of little dogs, always loving and happy and full of snuggles...

But apparently, I had crossed some sort of Pomeranian-line.  

"I will not be forgotten and locked in a bedroom without access to THUMBS."

He is now lying on the couch, plotting my demise.

I will keel you in your sleep...

I, on the other hand, am busy kissing his fluffy little ass and plying him with Pupperoni and pig ears.  When I decide I've apologized enough, he pulls this shit:

Remember the time you did THIS to me?

It's gonna be a longggggg day.