Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

07 February 2012

Trending now: Big Ass

My main Search Keyword for the day:  Big Ass.

That's right... if you search "Big Ass" apparently my blog comes up.  80 people typed "big ass" into the google search engine and somehow found their way to my blog.  


So now I need to ask myself the following question:

Does this blog make my ass look big?

The camera adds 10 lbs, you know.

Magic 8 ball says:  

"No, this blog just makes you look like a big ass."

Sooo, more this than that...

My family must be so proud.

I'm going to tell my mom to put that in the Christmas Family Newsletter:  "We're so proud of Danielle!  Her blog has over one follower and you can find her on google by searching for Big Ass!  She can also be found by searching Lego Porn, Michelle Bob Duggar's Vagina, and Chicks With Big Tits.  We're thankful she's finally putting her background in English Lit to good use."

Meanwhile, in honor of this momentous occasion (the occasion being that 80 hits on Big Ass broke the previous record of 64 hits on Michelle Bob Duggar's Vagina) I am dedicating this blog to Big Asses everywhere.

First, let me share with you MY Big Ass:

So big, so manly, so ass-like...

My children being Big Asses:

Their mother being a Big Ass:

Maisy's Big Ass:

Other Asses of the Big variety:

Things that look like Big Asses but aren't:

This is more disturbing to me than a Big Ass...  hmmm.

And finally, an occasion during which someone other than me made a Big Ass out of himself:

About 8 years ago as I was driving to work, a man called into the radio station to request a song.  He wanted to hear Tubthumping by Chumbawamba.

The DJ:  *hearty guffaw*  "So do ya fall down a lot or something?  Hyuck hyuck hyuck!"

Song Requester:  *very seriously*  "Well, I lost one of my legs in an auto accident a couple of years ago and I've had to learn to walk again, so yeah... I do fall down a lot."

Me, in my car:  *braying like a jackass because I was really glad I wasn't the DJ*

Wait... that does kind of make me a Big Ass, doesn't it.