That's right... if you search "Big Ass" apparently my blog comes up. 80 people typed "big ass" into the google search engine and somehow found their way to my blog.
*pause*
So now I need to ask myself the following question:
Does this blog make my ass look big?
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| The camera adds 10 lbs, you know. |
Magic 8 ball says:
"No, this blog just makes you look like a big ass."
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| Sooo, more this than that... |
My family must be so proud.
I'm going to tell my mom to put that in the Christmas Family Newsletter: "We're so proud of Danielle! Her blog has over one follower and you can find her on google by searching for Big Ass! She can also be found by searching Lego Porn, Michelle Bob Duggar's Vagina, and Chicks With Big Tits. We're thankful she's finally putting her background in English Lit to good use."
Meanwhile, in honor of this momentous occasion (the occasion being that 80 hits on Big Ass broke the previous record of 64 hits on Michelle Bob Duggar's Vagina) I am dedicating this blog to Big Asses everywhere.
First, let me share with you MY Big Ass:
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| So big, so manly, so ass-like... |
My children being Big Asses:
Their mother being a Big Ass:
Maisy's Big Ass:
Other Asses of the Big variety:
Things that look like Big Asses but aren't:
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| This is more disturbing to me than a Big Ass... hmmm. |
And finally, an occasion during which someone other than me made a Big Ass out of himself:
About 8 years ago as I was driving to work, a man called into the radio station to request a song. He wanted to hear Tubthumping by Chumbawamba.
The DJ: *hearty guffaw* "So do ya fall down a lot or something? Hyuck hyuck hyuck!"
Song Requester: *very seriously* "Well, I lost one of my legs in an auto accident a couple of years ago and I've had to learn to walk again, so yeah... I do fall down a lot."
Me, in my car: *braying like a jackass because I was really glad I wasn't the DJ*
Wait... that does kind of make me a Big Ass, doesn't it.
About 8 years ago as I was driving to work, a man called into the radio station to request a song. He wanted to hear Tubthumping by Chumbawamba.
The DJ: *hearty guffaw* "So do ya fall down a lot or something? Hyuck hyuck hyuck!"
Song Requester: *very seriously* "Well, I lost one of my legs in an auto accident a couple of years ago and I've had to learn to walk again, so yeah... I do fall down a lot."
Me, in my car: *braying like a jackass because I was really glad I wasn't the DJ*
Wait... that does kind of make me a Big Ass, doesn't it.
Jeezus, that tomato (or is it a pepper?) ass thingy is disturbing.
ReplyDeleteI'm a Big Ass too. How do you think I found your blog?
But... but Vesta! That's how I found YOU!!
DeleteBig Asses Unite!!
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, that first pic? She would have to qualify for some type of disability. How does she even SIT on a CHAIR for fucksake??
And yes, that tomato is moy disturbing.
The mom of one of my son's friends had an ass the size of a park bench. I swear her upper body was a size S to M and her lower half was a 6XL. I don't think I ever DID see her sit down.
DeleteHmmm.
MY EYES.......you should of put "warning" big asses ahead! Hey, that might make a funny tshirt! Big Ass Alert
ReplyDeleteFor future reference, just ASSUME that my blog comes with a Big Ass warning. As it is written by a Big Ass.
DeleteI discovered that someone found my blog by googling "window in a cow". I don't even know WHERE the hell to go with that one.
ReplyDeleteUmmm... uhhhh... hmmm.
DeleteWindow in a cow...
Window in a cow...
I got nuttin'.
I am, however, googling it as we speak...
Deletehahahah I've gotten a bunch of freaky searches cuz I blogged about showering ONCE and I talk about masturbating once in awhile. Oh and the zombie slut thing. (I blog about zombie sluts).
ReplyDeleteI think blogging about Zombie Sluts is a noble and honorable thing to do.
DeleteI think I'd rather be the blogger than the person sitting home googling "Michelle Bob Duggar vagina", no?
ReplyDeleteButttt what if the blogger and the googler are the same person... ??
Deletewell, I guess that negates being a random googler and raises the awesomeness of the blogger to the thrid power!?
DeleteI love the way you asked that get big asses! hahaha! I mean it depends if you sit all day and eat and don't work out your ass will get fat but if you workout and eat healthy then you will stay fit and skinny.
ReplyDeleteXXX