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Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

18 November 2011

Oh, it's ON.




I regret to inform you all that my big, sexy husband has gone from this:



Be still my heart...



"You wanna piece of me?  
(Note to self:  Blonde?  Wasn't a good idea.)

"YEAHHH!  I'm a MAN, baby!"


To this:


"Dani, I'm SICK..."

"Dani, I'm SICK..."


"Dani, I'm SICK..."


in five short days.

As previously described here, Dan came down with a cold over the weekend.   It's gotten more tragic by the day.  


Then, yesterday, I came down with his cold.


*cue theme from Jaws*


Dan morphed from pathetic weinie to Drama Queen.




This means he has had to out sick me.

Our evening has gone like this:

Me:  *coughcoughsnifffle*

Dan:  *coughcoughCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH* *pathetic moan* *COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH*

Me:  *coughcough*  *aaa-CH*  (I always cut my sneezes off.  People say I have "mouse sneezes" because it's more of a squeak than a sneeze.)

Dan:  *motherfuckingAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOO!* 

Doors rattle, windows shatter, avalanches bury Alpine villages, moose and elk grazing in distant pastures look towards the east, scientists and seismologists watch a fault line develop in the Village of NoFuckingWhere, NY as Dan out-sneezes everybody, everywhere, EVER.

Me:  *snifflesnifflecough*

Dan:  *hacking up a fucking lung*

Me:  "Seriously?"

Dan:  *coughcoughCOUGH* "What?"

Me:  "I get it.  You're sick."  *cough*

Dan:  *COUGHCOUGHCOUGH* "What are you talking about?"



Sorry you're feeling like such a pussy.





6 comments:

  1. Thank God it's not the stomache flu...The repercussions of his trying to out puke you don't bear thinking about....

    *hugs* Feel better...

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  2. Ugh, that is BRUTAL! Not actually being sick, of course, but listening to him bitch about it. My sympathies.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh sucko! Sorry to hear you're ill!

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  4. Um...I might have accidentally told the geese that Dan is into some serious goose love...and, um...they might be looking for him. A little. I know, I know, "loose lips sink ships" and all that. I'll apologize later, but I have to meet the head goose one more time...apparently he has questions about goose love. Geez.

    Hope you feel better soon, honey.

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  5. Too funny and so true. We men are often the biggest babies. I think it harkens us back to our mommies and how they took care of us and loved us and we just want you to compete to be better than mom...

    I have found myself having the who has a bigger headache or the who had a worse day competition with my wife. She always wins. Let's just say it is because I'm a gentleman, shall we?

    WG
    http://itsmynd.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. The hubs is so competitive, he pretty much just DIES to show how sick he is.

    Oh and this: motherfuckingAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOO! for the win. I am going to sneeze like that from now on.

    Sorry you were sick. Hopefully it has passed by now since I am late and playing catch up on your blog. Hugs regardless.

    ReplyDelete

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