Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

18 November 2011

Oh, it's ON.

I regret to inform you all that my big, sexy husband has gone from this:

Be still my heart...

"You wanna piece of me?  
(Note to self:  Blonde?  Wasn't a good idea.)

"YEAHHH!  I'm a MAN, baby!"

To this:

"Dani, I'm SICK..."

"Dani, I'm SICK..."

"Dani, I'm SICK..."

in five short days.

As previously described here, Dan came down with a cold over the weekend.   It's gotten more tragic by the day.  

Then, yesterday, I came down with his cold.

*cue theme from Jaws*

Dan morphed from pathetic weinie to Drama Queen.

This means he has had to out sick me.

Our evening has gone like this:

Me:  *coughcoughsnifffle*


Me:  *coughcough*  *aaa-CH*  (I always cut my sneezes off.  People say I have "mouse sneezes" because it's more of a squeak than a sneeze.)


Doors rattle, windows shatter, avalanches bury Alpine villages, moose and elk grazing in distant pastures look towards the east, scientists and seismologists watch a fault line develop in the Village of NoFuckingWhere, NY as Dan out-sneezes everybody, everywhere, EVER.

Me:  *snifflesnifflecough*

Dan:  *hacking up a fucking lung*

Me:  "Seriously?"

Dan:  *coughcoughCOUGH* "What?"

Me:  "I get it.  You're sick."  *cough*

Dan:  *COUGHCOUGHCOUGH* "What are you talking about?"

Sorry you're feeling like such a pussy.


  1. Thank God it's not the stomache flu...The repercussions of his trying to out puke you don't bear thinking about....

    *hugs* Feel better...

  2. Ugh, that is BRUTAL! Not actually being sick, of course, but listening to him bitch about it. My sympathies.

  3. Oh sucko! Sorry to hear you're ill!

  4. Um...I might have accidentally told the geese that Dan is into some serious goose love...and, um...they might be looking for him. A little. I know, I know, "loose lips sink ships" and all that. I'll apologize later, but I have to meet the head goose one more time...apparently he has questions about goose love. Geez.

    Hope you feel better soon, honey.

  5. Too funny and so true. We men are often the biggest babies. I think it harkens us back to our mommies and how they took care of us and loved us and we just want you to compete to be better than mom...

    I have found myself having the who has a bigger headache or the who had a worse day competition with my wife. She always wins. Let's just say it is because I'm a gentleman, shall we?


  6. The hubs is so competitive, he pretty much just DIES to show how sick he is.

    Oh and this: motherfuckingAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOO! for the win. I am going to sneeze like that from now on.

    Sorry you were sick. Hopefully it has passed by now since I am late and playing catch up on your blog. Hugs regardless.


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