Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

Because sometimes a status update just isn't enough.

12 December 2011


Since I'm exceedingly poooooor this year (like Dickens poverty-stricken Scrooge-doesn't-give-a-shit starving Bob Cratchit family poor) I've decided to give everyone I know and love homemade gifts this year.  

(If you're reading this and expecting a gift from me but don't want my homemade shit, don't worry about it, because at the rate I'm going, I'm probably not going to get to you anyway.)

So a few weeks ago, I made a list of everyone I need to send something to and what exactly it is/was I'm going to send.

I had big plans to buy all the ingredients for fudge, Christmas cookies, and some other crafty things. 

That's pretty much as far as I've gotten.

Lately, I've been unable to process a thought to fruition.  It's like little sparks of ideas fly into my head and before I have a chance to figure out what I'm thinking, it flies right back out again, leaving me with my mouth hanging open going, "Wait... wha...?"  

(It's a very attractive look for me, I'm sure.)

"Homo say whaaaaa...?"

This is my brain:

"Did you know that turtles breathe through their butts?"

This is my brain on Christmas:

*blink* *blink* 

In my head, this is what I imagine handing out for the holidays, while I'm dressed in Norman Rockwell-ish crushed velvet and satin ribbon New England-y Christmas attire while carolers follow me around and deer sprint across the frozen tundra in an oh-so-charming way:

"Fa la la la laaaaa la la la laaaaa!"

In reality, this is the more likely scenario:  

"Should I give them the whole box or just put a few on a plate with a bow??"