Land of the free... and the home of the buffet...

Since I've spent a long and lonely two weeks pretty much home by myself, I decided that Dan and I should venture out tomorrow and have a nice dinner in a nice restaurant where the drinks are as good as the food.  Since I'm generally leery of unfamiliar sounding places (and I refuse to eat "fresh seafood" in a place that is at least 5 hours from the closest ocean... I mean really, how fresh can it be?  It traveled at least 5 hours to get here, no?) I decided to look for an Olive Garden or an Applebees or at least something I've seen a commercial for in California. 
The University of Google proved helpful in showing me that I will be traveling for my dinner because....

the nearest "city" is Massena, NY.

Familiar restaurants in Massena, NY:
Wendys
McDonalds
Taco Bell
Pizza Hut
Dominos
Subway

Yeah, no.  Since none of those places serve alcohol, I'm pretty sure they're out.  (Though it's nice to know that there is a Taco Bell nearby, should I feel the need to make a run for the border in my near future.  Which I doubtlessly will.)

What was TRULY astounding were the number of buffets within the 20 mile search radius I typed in.  Northern New Yorkers like their buffets, yo.

Asian buffets, Italian buffets, seafood buffets, pizza buffets, generic hometown buffet-type buffets...  WOW.  All-you-can-eat is a HUGE selling point here!! 

Dan and I have gone to the Ponderosa twice since we've been here (he's gone more than that, but I digress).  It's $12 for an all-you-can-eat Hometown Buffet type meal.  One night, I kid you not, they featured All You Can Eat STEAK.  STEAK.  All you can eat STEAK.
How much steak can one person actually eat??????
I mean, all you can eat shrimp, ribs, wings, spaghetti... fine.  But STEAK?
(And yes, that's exactly what I said every 5 minutes. "STEAK?  All you can eat STEAK?  Who DOES that?"  No one found it as strange as I did.  But it's weird, right?  All you can eat STEAK?  And yeah... Dan ate a lot of steak.) 
(However, I must say, the carrot cake was worth every penny of the $12.  And it's a damn good thing, because that's pretty much all I ate.  Both times.) 

The bottom line (since I've totally lost my train of  thought) is that we are driving an hour and a half to Watertown, New York because dammit, I want Olive Garden.  And while the all-you-can-eat breadsticks and salad may qualify it as a buffet's second cousin, I don't care.  They serve booze.  I know it'll be good.  And I will get my money's worth, because Dan can (and will) eat a lot of breadsticks while I suck down enough alcohol to make me appreciate my surroundings.
You have NO idea how much I am looking forward to this.